28 May Running to God Or Running from God?
Last season I was in a place with God that I had always dreamed of being in.
A place of intimacy, Revelation, His voice… adventure and excitement (to say the least).
“Lord I Can’t Get Enough! Take me deeper; to places that I’ve never been. More!”
and immediately I felt a shift.
It was not a good feeling and honestly it was the first time I had prayed something with almost immediate regret, at first…
This was back in late November. It was almost as if everything SHUT OFF!
I felt alone….
like He had gotten up and walked away (which went against everything I believed because I know the Lord never leaves us.)
There was a block somewhere.
I couldn’t hear him like I used to and I even stopped writing.
Why Lord? What is going on? What did I do wrong? I began a self-evaluation.
Is something wrong with me or is this an enemy attack? Looking to figure out things on my own I went down the whole list of possibles….
And then out of nowhere, the Lord gave me a vision as I was driving down the road one morning.
He showed me Him and I, in a room together. As best friends we were laughing and enjoying each other’s presence.
And in the vision I had said to him the same thing that I said in real life…
“Lord, I can’t get enough! Take me deeper; to places I’ve never been. More!”
He looked at me and replied, “okay”.
And got up to walk past me out of the room.
I remember thinking in the vision, where did he go? (still excited)
Minutes later He walked back in….
And to my surprise, he was holding something in his hands that I have been running from for years.
“Noooo, I can’t do that!” I replied.
And as I sat in my van, the tears just flowed….
The Lord was showing me that, in order to go even deeper with him, I had to deal and work with him one-on-one, in this particular area of my life.
He was answering all of my prayers but fear and lies paralyzed me.
Asking Him to take me deeper with him I didn’t realize business needed to be taken care of first.
This is so hard and so deep, I thought.
And again just set it aside.
Two weeks later, with the block still there,
I went to listen to someone ministering.
It was as if the Holy Spirit was speaking directly into my life, as the speaker began to explain everything that was happening to me and he says,
Ask yourself one question… What was the last thing God asked you to do that you told him was too hard?
Immediately all the puzzle pieces came together and I realized I had pulled a Jonah.
Jonah was not being rebellious towards God by running, he fled because he was fearful and didn’t believe he could do what God said he could do.
Thankfully my whale experience was a little less dramatic but God will use whatever means necessary, for your heart change.
Jonah 1:3 says, then the Lord asked Jonah to go a second time and Jonah obeyed the Lord. I love it!
Immediately when I said YES the second time around instead of making excuses as to why it’s too hard, my block was shattered.
I have not even begun the process yet but I’m thankful to be moving forward again. I’m willing and ready to follow His leading into the victory He has for this area of my life! (which will and does affect every area of my life).
I’m working with God in braking off the lies and agreements that I made with the enemy over time (as the minister had suggested we do) and looking forward to crossing the finish line into a new
power and authority…. helping others who struggle in this same area.
I believe that I am walking into God’s destiny for my life.
Jesus never promised it would be easy… neither did Moses, Abraham, or Elijah. All of their stories had many struggles and it was HARD! REAL HARD! But in the end, They carried a legacy that changes lives even today through obedience and clinging to God every step of the way.
So (big or small) what has God asked you to do that you have decided you would do differently or refused…. due to fear, lies, etc?
Maybe it’s a change, a move of some sort, visiting an area that needs to be healed, forgiveness, a sacrifice, security… whatever it may be, stop holding on. Put it in God’s hands and watch as He parts the waters so that you can walk through to the other side.